The GrunexEveryone Fic!
by 7thstory
Summary: In which Norma is unpleasantly surprised several times, Moses is clueless, Shirley does something unusual, Jay abuses italics, and Grune loves everybody. [Slash, femmeslash and het. Oneshot, TWT. Crackfic, silliness.]


Um, this was inspired by a conversation I had on LiveJournal.

I offer no excuses.

Warnings: Slash, femmeslash and het, crack, silliness and abuse of italics.

Disclaimer: The only way I own ToL is in the sense that the game disc is pretty much permanently in my PS2. I am making no money off of this (who'd pay for this!) so please don't sue me. I have no money anyway.

On with the story!

---

All was not well in the city of Werites Beacon. At least, something was upsetting one Norma Beatty, and odds were that pretty soon she'd be upsetting everyone else.

Of course, she had reason to be a little upset. Grune was nowhere to be found, and Norma liked to know where Grune was. Well, Norma liked to know where everyone was, but Grune especially. Particularly after certain events which, in Norma's opinion, signified a, shall we say, _mutual_ interest in each other's whereabouts.

At least, that was Norma's opinion until she found Grune kissing Will Raynard.

"G-Girl!"

"Oh, hello Norma." Grune said cheerfully.

"Don't you 'Oh, hello Norma' me! What are you...You said...I thought...!" Norma was sure that there was a question that was perfect for this situation. She just couldn't seem to find it.

"Well, I just thought, 'Oh, it's so nice out!' and so I went for a walk." Grune smiled.

"That has nothing to do with this!"

"Oh," Grune said, her face becoming mildly bewildered. "It doesn't?"

Norma considered herself perfectly justified in yelling with frustration and leaving in a huff.

---

Norma didn't see Grune again until the next day. Actually, she'd been purposely avoiding the absent-minded woman, but that was beside the point. Now Norma wanted to talk to her. Obviously there had been some miscommunication somewhere, and it was time that they sorted it out.

It was with these sorts of thoughts in mind that Norma found Grune and Chloe cuddling on a bench in the Fountain Plaza. All thoughts of reconciliation flew immediately out of Norma's head, and she left before either of the other girls could notice her.

Norma supposed that she didn't really want to talk to Grune after all. "She'd probably just spout some crap about how nice the day was, anyway," Norma thought. "Maybe I can talk to her alone tomorrow."

---

The trouble was, Grune wasn't alone when Norma found her the next day. She was sitting on a blanket with Senel and Shirley in the fields just outside of town. "Well, all right, I'll just go ask to talk to her," Norma decided. That was when Grune pounced on Senel. Grune giving people random hugs was nothing strange, of course...

...But the kissing was.

So was the fact that Shirley didn't seem to be objecting.

Norma was starting to get sick of storming away in a huff, but she did it again anyway.

---

When Norma stumbled across Moses joining the ranks of "the people Grune has kissed lately", it was the last straw. Something had to be done, and Norma wasn't sure she'd be able to do it alone.

Fortunately, she had the perfect helper in mind. She set off to look for him at a dead sprint. Luckily, he wasn't far away.

She found him just about to knock on Will's front door.

"Jay!" she panted. "You have to help me! Everybody and Grune, they're all...!"

Jay was regarding her skeptically. "Everybody and Grune are _what_, exactly?" he asked.

"Why don't you go see for yourself?" Norma pointed. "She's just over there with Moses right now."

Jay's expression darkened.

Jay was shorter than Norma, but she still had to work to keep up with him.

---

Jay wasted no time upon arrival. He grabbed Moses by the back of his necklaces and dragged the bandit away from Grune.

"You hormonally-overcharged idiot!"

"_Hurk_--"

"What, _exactly_, were you doing?"

"Jay—can't—breathe...!"

Jay sighed exasperatedly and let go of the necklaces. Moses coughed, rubbing his neck. "Can't see why it bothers you so much."

Norma, who was watching the proceedings with interest, could have sworn that Jay's usually pale cheeks had pinked slightly.

"Ah...that's none of your business!"

"I'd say anything that's gonna make you choke me is my business!" And then something seemed to occur to Moses. "Wait...you're jealous, ain'tcha?"

"N—no!" Jay was definitely pink now.

"Yeah, you are." Moses laughed. "Our little Jay's growin' up! I shoulda known you'd think Grune was hot."

"_What!_"

"Aw, c'mon, you can admit it to your big brother." Moses reached out to ruffle Jay's hair.

Jay slapped his hand away. "I _don't want to be your little brother!_" Jay froze, his eyes widening a little as he realized what he'd said.

Moses pulled back, surprise and hurt mingled on his face. "Jay...?"

"You _stupid bandit!_" Jay whirled on his heel and fled in the direction of the fountain plaza.

Moses stared after him for a moment, shocked, and then came to his senses and ran after the younger boy. "Jay! Hey, Jay...!"

Norma watched Moses disappear around a corner. _Well._ She thought. That's_ interesting._

"Oh, I hope Moses finds Jay."

Norma gave a start at the voice behind her, suddenly remembering her original reason for bringing Jay here. She turned.

"G-Girl!" Norma put her hands on her hips. "What the heck is going _on_? Were you trying to work your way through the entire group, or what?"

"What do you mean?" Grune blinked innocently.

"What do you mean, what do I mean? You kissed me, and then all of a sudden, it's like you're going for a record or something!"

"Oh, that."

" 'Oh, that'? That's not an explanation!"

"Oh, well, um..." Grune brought a finger to rest thoughtfully on her chin. Then her expression cleared. "I love you all so much?" She smiled.

Norma sighed. "G-Girl, that explanation works for hugs. Kisses are different."

"Oh."

"So? Want to try again?"

"Um...Well, Will was sad, and I wanted to make him feel better."

"There are other ways to make people feel better," Norma grumbled.

"And Shirley bet me that I couldn't kiss Senel."

Norma blinked. Then she blinked some more. Finally she managed to get out a very confused "...What?"

"Oh, well, she wanted to, but she hasn't been able to yet. And I said I didn't think it was that hard to kiss someone, so she bet me that I couldn't do it." Grune smiled.

"...Oh." Norma frowned. "G-Girl, you shouldn't take bets from people that involve kissing their boyfriends."

"Oh. I'm sorry, Norma."

"Just...don't from now on." Norma shook her head. "And what about Moses, just now?"

"Oh, he asked me to."

"_What!"_

"I said, he asked me—"

"No, no, I heard you." Norma pushed her bangs out of her eyes, trying to decide how to explain. "G-Girl, you don't have to kiss someone just because they ask you."

"Yes, I know that."

Norma's heart sank. "Oh."

"Moses is a nice boy, but he didn't really want to kiss me."

"...Huh?"

"That's why I kissed him, you know. He wouldn't have figured it out otherwise." Grune smiled at Norma. "Thank you for bringing Jay."

"Ah..." Things clicked into place for Norma. Sometimes she wondered if Grune was actually the smartest member of the group. "It was nothing...Wait, what about Chloe?"

"Chloe?" Grune tipped her head to one side, eyes wide. "But I didn't kiss Chloe."

"...You didn't?"

Grune shook her head.

"Oh." Norma frowned. "Then what were you doing with her at the Fountain Plaza?"

"Chloe is sad sometimes," Grune said. "I think it's because of Senel. She needed someone to talk to."

"Oh." A pause. "G-Girl?"

"Yes?"

"...Why did you kiss _me?_"

"Because I like you."

"Ah." Norma grinned. "Well, that's a good reason."

"Oh, good."

"But, um, don't you like everyone?"

"I like you the best." Grune smiled brightly.

Norma smiled back, relieved. "Hey, G-Girl?"

"Hmm?"

"From now on, how about you only kiss the person you like the best, okay?"

Grune thought briefly. "Oh, you mean you want me to kiss you again?"

"I just meant that you should only kiss someone if they're the person you like the best. You can't just go around kissing everyone, y'know?"

"Okay." Grune was silent for a moment. "...May I kiss you again, then?"

Norma decided that there were better ways to answer that than with words.

---_end_---

Yeah. I think I'm nuts, too. I had fun with this, though.

Ambika-san


End file.
